Day: November 16, 2021

Posted on

Books I need to read and get

My friend always makes fun of me for hoarding books and reading so little, and as much as I would like to punch him in the face when he points this out, I also know it is painfully true.

It is not that I am one of those people who buy books just to look smart, I love love love love reading, but I just don’t have time most days. I often get to my bed late at night or after exhaustion has eaten my brain, and as I lay there with my book beside me, I can barely read the title. All the focus I had was long gone at the first sip of my Diel coffee this morning and editing Golda’s story and desperately trying to fill out an F10 form.

I honestly want to read, I really do, and I even read two books the last two months and started with another two that I am reading at the same time, which I don’t exactly like to do, and I really would like an extra hour or two to read more.

But instead, I usually go back home too tired to think that I attend up binge-watching Netflix.

Nope, no mister, not today. Today, I will be skipping the gym to read, and as I finish all my tasks in due time ( 🙂 ), I am leaving the office no later than 5:30 pm, and I will read. I promise myself, I will read.

However, I also REALLY want these three books, but I feel guilty to buy them as I bought five last month, which I still did not start with. So what I will be doing is I will finish two or three books by December, which will make it easier for me to buy more books because, hey, I am consuming(:

The books I want are:

The Blind Assasin by Margaret Atwood

A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur (poems)

The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler

Farewell My Lovely by Raymond Chandler

Oops. Looks like they’re five books. Lol. I know I’ll be getting two of them mid-December, but the rest, I would need to book hunt.

Let me update my calendar now and leave the office. It’s time to go home, folks.

Posted on

A letter to the lover of Frank Sinatra

(This has been written a while ago)

Frank Sinatra sings to his lover

He says she is his only way of life

The only way he knows

Did she listen? Did she cry?

Because my lover never listens,

He kisses the lips of another

And I die.

The autumn leaves fall down the streets

Soon to aloof the mighty tree

And as I reminisce your memories, I think of my defeats

I think of the ways you held me and the way you are holding she

The autumn is upon us

Just like the mighty tree, I stand unprepared

For the nostalgia I feel inside my guts

Thinking of all the music you sang and all the words left unheard

I think of you, you who has abandoned me

You who ripped my heart out of my body

Yet you refused to set me free

You who left me with eyes so soggy

And slow danced with somebody that isn’t me

You drank your bloody wine

Held her sweaty hands into the night

Walked our streets with her under a moon so divine

Took her to my place, my chair, my light, despite

Tell me something now

While drunk did you

Slur your words and my name allow

To escape your lips, now tell me how

You took her into your arms

Saw my face on hers

Held her closer to see

The agonized soul of mine

Looking into the dead eyes of thou

Do you think of me when you are with her

Drunk and desperate, sulking into her embrace

Do you reminisce on where you are now and where you were

Do you see her the way I do, an ebony crow with such disgrace

And when you sober up and remember it isn’t I,

Does your heart sink to your legs, do you lie

And from her you shy

Do you chug your coffee 

Light your cigarette, my memories deny 

I wonder if Frank Sinatra, writhed in pain

When he realized that lovers like mine and his

Cannot feel love

That all the words we rhyme go in vein

I wonder if he knows all that and still loves her

Just as much as I love you