My friends are coming over today – Sorry for not posting as much as before; I think starting today and until the end of summer, I will be writing less. I can write when I’m happy and sad, but never when I’m agitated, and summer is where my agitation devilishly thrives.
I finished all my to-do lists today, with extra chores assigned for later and I finished a deadly deadline before due time ;), and I still have 15 minutes to spare. I could go home early, sulk in the ‘spring warmth,’ and prepare for my friends coming over for iftar, but I thought to barf some randomness here.
The thing is, in Ramadan, I never know if what I’m feeling is really what I’m feeling or if it is the effect of lack of food. I know that in the meantime, I’m not really a big fan of work, as the hours in Ramadan seem doubled and tripled, and right now, the one day at the office feels like 56 hours.
I know that I’m thrilled to see my friends tonight, even though I saw them on Saturday, and even though I don’t see them as much as I used to, and as much as I want, I love them beyond words.
They are the only safety left for me amid all the uncertainty, throughout all my fears, worries, and inane dilemmas; seeing them has always been the escape from the world I live in, and I am grateful they are still in my life, or at least most of them.
One of them is now in Canada, so we usually Facetime her whenever we’re together, and we talk about the most random of things and laugh at nothing in particular. In these times of insecurity and feeling like the biggest part of my life is falling before, I long for their presence near me as they are now my only sense of grounding.
What are we having for iftar?
I’m glad you asked! See, two years ago, I invited the same friends over for iftar, and one of them requested kibbet batata. My mum made it, and he loved it so much! Ever since, every time we are invited to anyone’s place, they always make him kibbet batata, sometimes even for breakfast. This year mum thought to break the habit and make kibbet banadoura 🙂
Other than that, we’ll be making Cajun chicken pasta, which quickly climbed its way to one of my favorite food, and kabseh (rice), along with the usual appetizers. Also, my mum makes the single GREATEST zucchini soup, but every time we tell people about it, they all have that same ‘yuck’ expression on their face, so what we will be doing today is that we will encourage them to eat this green creamy soup without telling them what it is, and after they love it, we will disclose the truth!
What else?
Well, I remain forever grateful. I thank my God for the life I was given and the people I have in my life. One of my close friends is an artist, and he just finished a huge memorial for the victims of the Beirut Blast, paying tribute by hand-drawing their portraits and giving them center stage in Downtown Beirut.
I have been supporting him with the project since January, and yesterday, he went live on TV to say that because of me, he did not quit, and he actually went with it after my insistence, even though there were so many times where he was hesitant.
I am grateful to be part -even if it’s almost negligible- of the impact he has created for the families. I am grateful for the minimal impact I may have on the world. I am grateful for a world so beautiful, yet it lets me live within.