It’s been quite around here.
We’re 24 days into 2021, and I haven’t even begun to write any 2021 resolutions, or check any of the simple tasks I had in mind, or even begin to think of how my days post lockdown will look like. Is it going to the same? Is it everchanging?
I feel like, for now, I am floating, and not necessarily in a good way, but not necessarily in a bad way either. It’s as if I am walking on a light cloud, and the only thing that is keeping me from falling is pure luck, or maybe the big guy has more important things to deal with that he’s letting me wobble around for a while.
I’ve had a serene week, away from the hustle of the city and the people and the empty streets, and close to the people dearest to my heart. This is now considered a usual, an addictive getaway that, if lost, will hurt so much. I watched the first snow of the year, and I felt the warmth radiating from my people as we snuggled next to the chimney, laughing at everything and nothing in particular.
I think this has been said already here and outside of here, but what would I do to live in a moment. I wouldn’t want to repeat the whole day, just one moment out of it all, one moment when it was too idyllic to think of horrid or the bleak little somebody living in me. Is that how heaven is? Letting us relive our happiest moment over and over and over, with the same mindset and bliss?
But… I’ve been overthinking; I’ve been overthinking a lot. I can’t say this week was similar to the others, I can’t say I was similar to the person I was, and it weirded me out, to be honest. There was something off about how I anticipated my surroundings and the way I felt about everything. Could it be that, as always, the closeness suffocated me? Or could it be that we weren’t close enough?
I’m not sure.
I do know that I need to sort some things out, put some new rules and regulations to myself so I stop repeating all my previous experiences because honestly, this is getting ridiculous. I can’t continue living the same events every time.
Hope you’re having a good Sunday.