It was safe. A whole day of safety? I could almost jinx myself, if I hadn’t already. Slowly, everything is moving away and I am scared of getting close-like always-and it’s a bit uncertain.
But it was a wonderful day.
It was a cold frisky night, yet I was warm. And I looked at them and smiled, and they smiled back at me. And at that moment I forgot all my worries and all I could think of is that my heart is happy, and that it needs to stay there.
Do you ever have those moments? Where the silky wind brushes your cheeks and you look at your someone and you know that this is exactly where you belong, that even though it has been stormy, the universe was preparing you for a moment of peace that is worth all the trouble.
And that day, it was.
I keep remembering bits and pieces and I keep smiling to myself. Did that really happen? Did I really say that? How did it end? Why am I so clingy? Why did it have to end?
It’s like all my pain ceased existing. I could look at other people and not feel a gutting feeling; like they’re much warmer than me, that I am cold and stranded. I didn’t feel as cold; it felt like I am as warm as anybody else.
I wish we can live in our happy moments. Put them in a wooden box next to our pillows and access them in times of pain. The box can sense our unpleasantness, and would not let us access memory if we didn’t absolutely surpass our window of tolerance.
And by access, I don’t mean like seeing photos and reminiscing, I mean feeling every happy vibe back, remind your senses that happiness can still exist and that despite whatever, it was a good day because they all smiled at you.