It’s November

It’s November folks, and I just noticed that the last time I wrote here was August, which means that the last time I had a free moment to reflect was August. Wtf?

It wasn’t the last time I wrote, as I have four drafts that I will be sharing in a bit, but I thought first to write my usual interludes. I won’t give you reasons this time; I will not give you excuses. I am learning to stop feeling guilty over things I cannot control and stop overthinking and assuming that people will be upset. Because let’s face it, who the fuck really cares if I write here or if I don’t, except me?

I’ve grown a lot since August, and I tell you, a lot has happened. I traveled to Georgia and Armenia as a holiday, and I went to Egypt on a work mission, and I just celebrated my 25th birthday yesterday.

I have a lot to tell you. I have a lot to tell you about me, about things that are changing in me, about the storms and the rain and the voices that are actually easing up, about the taste(s) of freedom and certainty I got to experience, about my grandma who keeps haunting me, about him. I have a lot to tell you, changes that I cannot believe I passed through, people that I have let in, and people that I have let out. About space, about culture, about my switched thinking of how we should be, of how I should be. Can you believe that I’m actually drinking diet iced tea?

Fyi, for those who don’t know me, I do not drink iced tea, never. I’m drinking iced tea now as I write this, and it is not the first time I have drank iced tea in the past weeks. I am telling you this to measure the scale of change I have passed through.

Oh, and I got two tattoos. hehe. One of them is the compass that I briefly mentioned at the beginning of this blog. I want to talk about my tattoos, and show you them, but in a separate post.

For now, it’s November 2, 2022; I am 25 and a day, I am drinking diet peach-flavored iced tea at the office, and I am listening to She Passed Away Alone At Sea by Owsey, on repeat. I have an insane workload, but I finished most of the priorities and thought to myself, you deserve a break. I’m meeting my university friends after work, and it’s raining heavily, and my car is parked 5mins walking distance from the office, so that will be fun. I can see a rainbow just behind the mountains, and the music is consuming me.

It’s been a nice birthday week, even though yesterday I cried a lot. I had a beautiful birthday pool party on Sunday, organized by a wholesome being, and I had a lovely family dinner yesterday, and my sisters made the cookies I like, and today my colleagues at work surprised me with a birthday cake. My university friends will also probably celebrate my birthday today, and I am grateful.

It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, for sure. My heart is aching for a certain somebody in my life that I care about more than anything, but I am trying to let them deal with their problems without letting it affect me as much as it is right now, because, that’s how it should be. I’m trying.

Action points from my end:

• Write a Georgia/Armenia overview
• Write a Cairo overview
• Write about my grandma
• Write about him
• Write about my tattoos
• Keep on writing
• Plan my Syria trip in two weeks

Also, it’s Christmas soon. yey.

How about you? You okay? Any exciting/nonexciting things to share with me? I would love to listen.