Summertime sadness by Lana Del Rey is playing on my headphones as I write this.
I have been thinking,
And for all of you who would probably say
“Do you usually not think?”
No, I do. Think.
But lately, I have been thinking
About safety in cold nights
Safety in the sadness
In the taste of a bad coffee
In the grumpiness of an early morning
In the hotness of a summer day
In the rudeness of an arrogant man
I am thinking of the little moments we live
In the most awful memories
That keeps us alive
The touch of a loved one
The slow dance in a closed room
The sunset on a sea view terrace
The hammock nap on a hike
A midnight swim
The city skyline
Driving on empty streets
Loud music in the car
First drop of rain
Harry Potter movies
My mother’s famous rice
My father’s nonchalant jokes
My sisters
A good night sleep
A good book
A funny Netflix series
A walk in a forestry lane
A good song on repeat
The face of a lover
A laugh
A goodbye
A hug
A kiss
The small moments
That do not fade
Even in the darkest day
It blooms, thrives, thirsts off the melancholy
We choose to oversee it
As usually, the pain is too loud
But once we actually notice
Focus on the simplicity
It makes everything bearable
Hell, it becomes addicting
Craving for safety in the abyss
Lusting for the hope found in dirty niches
I live for these
Moments
For the serendipity in a heinous setting
I live to feel
I live for safety
I live to feel the safety