November 29 – Today I felt the frost of death for the first time. I saw love lying on the bed without a soul. Love is ugly after death, like all corpses, and it smells.
An excerpt from a book I’m reading
It’s 10:43 pm, I’m lying on a bed and I can see the city skyline reflected from the balcony’s transparent door. It is so beautiful. The lights shimmering in every house, the noir streets in between, the aging city sleeping from above, the tiny people we cannot see, the stories untold, the mightiness of Beirut, the divine Mediterranean. It is so beautiful.
A friend once told me that he sees city lights as “Earth stars.” They might be, captivating in their own way, dwelling in the mysteries of the Earth, untied by constellations. They’re prettier than the stars in the sky.
They glow at me, taunting me to know the secrets, the gossips, and scandals of houses dying to tell. I can look at it, the skyline, forever, making up stories about the light owners, feeding my curiosity with appalling anecdotes and torrid letters to anonymous.
I am dreaming, enchanted by the sparkles and the glimmers, making up devious scenarios whispered in nooks and crannies, praying for peace and warmth in every troubled soul and every aching heart.
I’m listening to my favorite song, and I am really enjoying the book I am reading- and I am so proud that I am reading (❤️). Today was a quiet day, and tomorrow will probably be a serene one spent in nature, plus it’s Sunday which means I can sleep as much as I like, even though my brain will probably wake me up at 7 am. (:
It’s fine, I like early mornings and its delicious coffee. I’ll get to read before everybody wakes up and secretly scroll through my emails (the secret is kept from me by me (I am teaching myself not to open emails during the weekend and (I am cheating))).
I also need to plan for camping next week; planning logistics and making reservations and writing my infamous-never ending-long to-do list, and setting budgets. Fun fun.
If you’re looking at Beirut and its lights, let me know. We’re looking at the same beauty.
Good night x